“You gotta know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run.”
This is the perfect description of how I currently feel about social media. After 10 years of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat, I had enough. I had nearly 2,800 “friends” – people from grade school through college, former work colleagues, neighbors, musician contacts, you name it….but I still didn’t feel a connection of having any close friendships strictly on social media. I remember being at my 30th high school reunion two years ago, and the conversations didn’t start with “How have you been?”….they all started with “Hey, I saw on Facebook the other day that……..”
When people leave social media, do we truly miss them, or do we miss being entertained by them? This was my “come to Jesus” moment….how many opportunities for real friendship did I miss because I was constantly posting and chatting? Although it would be very easy and cliche to say that I gave this all up just because I turned 50. I had been thinking of leaving for quite a while, and it was actually the vitriol of a former friend that was the deciding factor. (That’s a whole other post waiting to be written. Stay tuned.)
Here’s what cracks me up – if you leave social media for longer than two weeks, people think you’ve died. They’ve forgotten the ability to pick up a phone and call (ironic, as they’re on a smartphone), or e-mail or write a letter….have we become that dependent (lazy?) that we can only communicate on social media platforms?
Although I haven’t completely deleted my accounts, I’ve deactivated them, and I have no idea when/if I’ll ever use them again. Jenn says that I’m “more present and in the moment, and less distracted” being off of social media, and I’ll add to that that I feel less excluded and less stressed….that makes it all worthwhile.
This blog is so that I can still have an outlet to express my thoughts and my feelings, and not deal with the “IMHO” responses like when you post on Facebook and Twitter. Just a heads-up….my language might not always be rated PG, so if you don’t like it, don’t read it! This is a gift to myself….after 50 years of feeling insecure, of worrying about getting approval, and focusing on my failures and not seeing successes, this is where I’m gonna say how I REALLY feel.
Thanks for coming along for the ride.
3 thoughts on “kenny rogers was spot on.”
I’m along for the ride!
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I completely understand, Lane. I took a tear off of FB and it was great! The only reason I got back on was to keep up with family and a few old friends, to post gigs, and to know about other events. I’m trying to keep my time online limited these days.
I fucking love everything you said is so true! I have gotten off of social media for a short period of time and it was the most peaceful time I ever had in a long time! Thank you for including me in your text message to let us know where you are I will continue to follow your blog!