five words that will no longer define me.

“You know how Lane is.”

From my dad saying that to my teachers and my peers growing up, to my friends using that as an excuse to write me off, to the point that I was saying these to myself almost like a mantra in front of the mirror.

It’s been very easy to use these words to wallow in the negative. I’ve used these words as my excuse to not take risks, and as an excuse to accept my failures.

It’s not about wanting to be like somebody else….it’s about seeing myself in a more positive light. It’s the acceptance that I’m an “extroverted introvert”…there are times that I’m the one that lights up the room, but there are times when I sit quietly in the room, not because anything is wrong, but because I’m either deep in thought, or just enjoying the conversations around me. This usually turns into someone asking “What’s wrong with Lane?” followed by a response of “Well, you know how Lane is.”

I’m not shy, but that does not mean that I want to (or have to) be “on” for the enjoyment/amusement/entertainment of others. At the ripe old age of 50, I’m finally learning to accept my unique, quirky personality as a gift, not as a curse….if I’m learning and discovering more about who I truly am, how can anyone else define me so easily, and why have I let myself be so easily and incorrectly defined this way?

I like being a work in progress….I love having flaws, and I love that I can be creative and outgoing, but also thoughtful and reflective…..and I’ll be damned if anyone is gonna be so dismissive by trying to define me with these five words anymore. #absolutelyimpurfekt