excuse me, do you validate?

One thing I’ve learned during this Corona pandemic….I’ve enjoyed spending time by myself. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love being home with Jenn – it means I’ve learned to appreciate the value in spending time by myself each day, even if it’s just a few minutes.

In the past, my alone time was usually triggered by something negative, like an argument or a bad experience. More often than not, it was triggered by the fear of missing out. This fear was triggered by validation. This would be followed by “snow globing” (seeing things rationally becomes the equivalent of shaking a snow globe and then trying to see through it) and self doubt. This pandemic has forced us all to not just be socially distant, but it has cut us off in some ways from the people we hold near and dear, and from who we find validation.

I’ve been spending a lot of time in my den, between setting up shop to telework, and listening to music every day. It’s from here that I realized that a lot of the validation that I receive is from work and from playing gigs. Having both of these environments put on the shelf indefinitely has been challenging, but it has also been very rewarding. I’ve enjoyed the quiet – I’ve been able to think more clearly, and have felt much calmer on a day to day basis. A lot of time is spent writing – writing lyrics, writing to friends to say hello, and the occasional blog post. From this, I’ve found self-validation. The challenges of project completion and creativity have been invigorating! Although I know I’ll have gigs at some point, I don’t miss them right now. I’ve found healthy alternatives on the weekends, like watching classic movies and taking in the sights and sounds that are around me every day that I’ve taken for granted. In this, I’ve found comfort and not loneliness. In the silence, it feels much healthier to focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives.

Validation – it truly comes from within.