sorry kermit, sometimes it just sucks being green.

7 more years. In 7 years, I’ll be 59 1/2, and I’m going to retire. I would love to say that I’ve had an illustrious career, but honestly I haven’t. My career has had some incredible highs (as well as some truly demoralizing lows), but it’s allowed me to pay my bills and learn some things along the way. There’s one thing I wish that I’d learned a lot earlier, and it’s answered a lot of questions about my struggles with Corporate America.

The first time I took the DISC personality test was in 2017…..boy, do I wish this had been available in 1990. I’m definitely the green “D” personality – direct, dominant, decisive and thinking about the big picture. It has helped me in terms of not fearing big moments, but it has also caused me some big mistakes (bucking authority, being very black & white about things).

My secondary color is C (yellow), which is perfectionist who expects the same of others. This has been a blessing and a curse as a musician, as I try to sing songs trying to sound as close to the original recording as possible, but in my head feel disappointed when the rest of the band does not.

My “green/yellow” personality has impacted my life in ways both unbelievable and disappointing. Sadly, it’s all now come to a head. I’m at a crossroads in my life, and it feels like I got here seven years too early.

I’m tired of being green, especially when I’m doing it for 40 hours every week. I’m tired of being yellow for the other 128 hours as well.

It’s been a fun ride, to say the least.

I can’t retire from my day gig….plus I truly like and respect the people that I work with…i know it’s not them, and that the issues are within. It’s the other things that I’m letting go.

As of June 18th at the conclusion of the Uptown Vocal Jazz gig, I am RETIRING from being a professional musician. Truth be told, I don’t like it anymore. I thought I’d take the rest of 2022 off and start fresh in 2023, but I don’t think I’ll feel differently at the beginning of the new year.

As I’m still awaiting a very important decision about my daughter (as of the time of writing this), I do know that my happiness has long suffered, and before 2023, I need to make some drastic changes, and that my happiness needs to come first and foremost, if I hope to be around for a while.

Here’s to seven years of good luck. Let’s hope the grass is greener.

Published by ltrainlane

Musician, Customer Service Manager, Husband, Father, New York Giants fan, happy-go-lucky (sometimes clothing optional) free spirit....that pretty much sums it up.

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