breathe.

“Cause you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable.
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button.
So cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe, just breathe.”

This is a very tough week for me…it’s my daughter’s 13th birthday on Friday. Under normal circumstances, any parent would have anxiety about their daughter becoming a teenager. Because my daughter and I are current estranged, my anxieties are multiplied.

There is no worse feeling than the feeling of failure as a parent. Although the circumstances which would allow an easy reconciliation are a little bit beyond my control, I try to maintain a positive outlook, and try to show my daughter how much I love her and care about her. What makes this very frustrating is the fact that my daughter is only allowed to see one side of the story.

I worry about her future, especially as she’s now a teenager – will she make the right choices? What are her hopes and dreams, and what potential obstacles could be in her way? These are the things I think about every day, sometimes to the point where it distracts me from being in the moment. All I can do is have faith that she will stand tall in the face of adversity, and soar like an eagle with her successes.

I love my daughter – always have, always will…and I know the day will come when we will have quality time together. In the meantime, I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other, and remembering that when things feel out of control….just BREATHE.

Happy Birthday Fry-Fry. I love you. ❤️💕