A funny thing happens as you get older.

Time is a great equalizer. You begin the appreciate the things you took for granted when you were younger.

I am a 1987 graduate of Onteora Central School in Boiceville New York. Both of my parents were music teachers in the district, and those years at OCS had a profound impact on my life….this is something I’ve come to appreciate over these past couple of years.

Not many people think of their high school experiences as the best part of their lives. Mine were not fantastic, but hindsight has a way of reframing some of these moments into powerful life lessons.

Where isolation and unpopularity were things we worried in high school, I’m now thankful for the sense of self-respect and independence I learned during these formative teenage years.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned to appreciate the most about my time not just at Onteora, but from growing up in my little town of Shokan in the Catskills – NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM. And I genuinely appreciate this life lesson now more than ever.

I’ve embraced following the updates of my alma mater. One of my classmates (who I’ve known since 3rd grade) recently coached Onteora’s Varsity Boys Basketball Team to their first Section 9 Class B title in 25 years! And Onteora’s Marching Band just marched in the NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade! It’s inspiring to see the younger generations of students with bright young minds putting their best foot forward.

In two weeks, I’m heading up to Shokan, and I look forward to hopefully walking the halls of OCS, and I hope to see a lot of familiar faces. I’m happy to feel reconnected to my high school, and I look forward to reconnecting with more high school friends and classmates in the future.

A footnote – back in the day, we were the Onteora Indians, and now we’re the Onteora Eagles….as a New York Giants fan, the words “Fly Eagles Fly” are not a part of my everyday vocabulary, but for OCS, I’ll make an exception!

Who says you can’t go home again?

So my now ex-wife got a non-disclosure agreement with our divorce.

Needless to say, I won’t be saying much about her. Whatever.

What I am going to write about is the gratitude I have for where my life is NOW.

There’s an amazing feeling of accomplishment when you get through a traumatic experience like divorce (I know….I’ve done it twice!)….you feel like you can get through anything after you go through one.

This time is different. Life has never been truly on my terms….its always been about pleasing someone else, or meeting that person’s expectations. This started with my dad, and this has impacted EVERY relationship I’ve ever had. We only get one life – and living it for someone else will no longer be tolerated.

I’m on “Chapter 3” now. Chapters 1 and 2 are officially closed. This chapter is truly an open book – living my life on my terms, from religion, neurodivergence, nudity and sex – that’s right – no more worrying about what ANYBODY thinks. I’m 56 years old for crying out loud – If others can’t handle how I live my life, I truly don’t care!

I’m currently reading the book LET THEM by Mel Robbins…this has been tremendously therapeutic! Learning the power of “let them” has been a life changer. A few months ago I wrote how I “napalmed those motherfuckers” about a lot of people in my life in Alexandria….if they got their panties in a bunch about it? LET THEM. Who cares? I was never a real part of their lives anyway.

I’m very blessed to have a new amazing person in my life with this new chapter. Mary and I went on our first date to a jazz concert last summer, and I’ve more than met my match in terms of musical appreciation! She sees the good in me that I sometimes struggle to see in myself, and she accepts me COMPLETELY for who I am. She’s also an accomplished author! As she’s very strong in her faith, it’s been an inspiring journey, as I recently got baptized again…..this is Mary’s influence in my life now. Things seem calmer, and I can truly enjoy being in the moment every day.

I’m past the halfway point with my life now. I want to live a happy and fulfilling life the rest of the way. May this new chapter bring an abundance of blessings and new opportunities!

I’m back.

I changed my mind. I know EXACTLY what I want to write about.

More to come……plus I’ll explain this in much more detail.

Talk soon.

It’s been a fun ride.

Thank you to all who have followed this blog for the past six years.

Although this started as a way of journaling my feelings, and this was a pleasure and privilege to write, I’m going to find another quieter outlet instead.

Peace to you all. ❤️

1. My beautiful niece Kemba – thank you for your hospitality, for being my sounding board, and for telling me what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.
2. The incredible sunshine of Southern California. It’s very healing.
3. Balance – it’s one thing to be fully aware of what’s happening in our world….its another to try and maintain a healthy mental outlook as we try and get through it.
4. Self-awareness….using this time out here to process the events of this past year has been incredibly helpful.
5. The UCLA football team. Thank you for saving Penn State fans from delusional heartbreak later in the season.
6. The beach – there’s something about having your toes in the Pacific on a perfect sunny afternoon.
7. In N Out Burger – seriously, we need this on the East Coast….WTF?
8. West Coast Sunsets…..’nuff said.
9. The Laurel Canyon music scene.
10. The feeling of being hopeful in general!

Here’s how I’d win on Survivor.

I can live on dry cereal, water and peanut butter and granola bars.

I don’t know this from camping….I know this because I let my cubbard get that bare two weeks ago, because I absolutely suck at cooking, and the couch was just too comfy for going to the store. And this is what I lived on in the meantime for two days.

You call it a “cookbook”…..I call it “the first thing to put out with the fire extinguisher” as I set it on fire while trying to make an entree.

I’ve decided to learn how to properly cook….at age 56….its time to overcome my fear of the kitchen.

I’m no Julia Child (although my imitation of her is pretty good), but I’m going to have fun with this challenge, and hopefully not get food poisoning in the process!

This is all part of the fresh start – taking on new challenges and opportunities, and finally facing the fears.

And with all of the new opportunities presenting themselves, I’ll approach these just like I will with my first truly self-made meal.

One bite at a time.

It’s been 76 days since moving back to the Keystone State.

Although it’s been a rollercoaster of a year, things are settling down. New friends, new opportunities, and new surroundings have helped to find a new sense of inner peace.

True confession – I didn’t just burn bridges in Alexandria – I napalmed those motherfuckers. I had to. I NEEDED to. And in doing so, I GOT MY LIFE BACK. It was the only way to turn a corner of my life that desperately needed to be turned.

My energy has shifted, mainly because of the move – I let go of the “façade” – the years of creating this “secure”image, and using that image to hide all of my insecurities behind. The glossy “TV/Music” persona, that truly needed to go. I LOVE that I haven’t picked up my horns in months! That may seem crazy to some people, but I could not be happier. These last few months have been about self reflection (while working through a divorce….wish there was a handbook!) and emotional healing, and letting all of the bullshit go.

Survival mode is no longer sustainable – living a “reactive instead of proactive” life is not for me. Having to pretend to be a part of a happy family as a third wheel was downright exhausting, and in the end, the “house of cards on sand” collapsed like it should have.

Things are looking very promising – great new challenges with the job, hanging out with a crowd with whom I have many more common interests, and even going out on dates….all of these have more meaning, as its about living an authentic, SECURE life. It’s not about cockiness or arrogance. After years of insecurity, and being worried about what people may think or say about me, its come down to this three word conclusion:

FUCKING LET THEM.

I truly don’t care – I left that energy across the Potomac, where it belongs (or that energy can die….who cares?)

“Mr. Today Show of Alexandria” and his façade can kiss my Pennsylvania ass.

1. Beautiful sun-splashed September mornings.
2. The PERFECT cup of hot cocoa.
3. My new neighbors Sam and Carol. Thank you both for reminding me about the important things in life.
4. The “Mechanicsburg Posse” – Amy, Gordon, Brie, Eddie, Lisa and the whole football-watching gang….THANK YOU for making me feel included.
5. The William Penn Social Club in Harrisburg – I’m now a member!!
6. Musical conversations that can go on for hours.
7. My true family – putting their pictures up on my apartment walls makes me feel closer to them.
8. The Towson State Tigers! My new favorite college football team!
9. The music of John Tropea.
10. New beginnings.

Lane Stowe, August 15, 1969 – August 14, 2025

Wait, what??

That’s right, I’m having a “death without a death”, as I’m truly leaving my old self behind at 55. in other words, I’m “killing off” the Mr. Today Show part of my personality that I absolutely detest. That’s the part of me that can stay with “The Real Housewives of Alexandria”, as I cannot detach from that part of who I’ve been fast enough.

My 56th birthday is tomorrow. This birthday has already been one of the best ever, and it hasn’t even happened yet. I’ve been blessed in unexpected ways, unlike my 16th birthday 40 years ago.

It was on August 15, 1985 when I was diagnosed with a severe case of mononucleosis. I spent two weeks in bed feeling like death warmed over, and I dropped down to 120 pounds. This is why I’m having a small get-together at my place tomorrow night. It’s never too late to have a belated Sweet 16 party!

To say this year has had some unexpected changes would be putting it mildly. This has truly been a year of change and growth, and the future is looking INCREDIBLY bright.

Happy Birthday! ☺️🎉🎊

It feels good to be back.

I should’ve never left.

The last 15 years of my life were not real. Not at all. Don’t even get me started on the whole Today Show thing….

I spent this entire time being something that I’m not, in hopes of fitting into someone else’s life. And I’m not the least bit surprised by the result.

Truth is, I should’ve moved back to Pennsylvania in 2021 when Lauryn truly needed me. Shame on me.

What’s the prize? Spending the last four plus years on auto pilot, just going along with someone else’s life.

God knows my work is cut out for me with Lauryn, but I’m in it for the long haul.

For those of you who’ve stuck around, thank you.

I’m still in the process of reintroducing myself, and I’m a work in progress.

And finally – for those who are here just to spy and tattle – I cannot say this enough from the bottom of my heart – GO FUCK YOURSELVES. You know who you are, and so do I.

Today is Day 2 of an incredible personal journey….no time for haters anymore.

I’m in a Keystone State of mind. 😎