Lane's Back Nine – my online diary as a 55-year old

We’ve come quite a ways from Up With People.

Sunday’s Super Bowl seemed kinda “meh”, as far as the game and commercials are concerned. Fortunately the halftime show made things very interesting.

I’ll fall on my sword – I admit that I had not known much about Kendrick Lamar’s music prior to Sunday. I knew he won a Pulitzer for his lyrics, and I know he has a rift with Drake.

Not knowing what to expect, I watched as there was symbolism clearly presented for immediate effect (Samuel Jackson got my undivided attention). I became frustrated because it was hard to understand what was being said, as the audio mix actually drowned out the vocals at one point. Even with this audio issue, this was clearly a message being conveyed for America to see.

When it was over, my initial reaction was shock as the show had such a definitive ending. From a mindset of wonder, I couldn’t figure out everything I had just watched, but I knew that there would be plenty of discussion about it.

Here’s where I saw a very cool ray of light yesterday. There was healthy online dialogue about the halftime show. Not everyone was receptive to “feeling the need to be educated”, but the conversations seemed a lot calmer, and with less vitriol than one would expect.

I watched the halftime show again yesterday morning…watching it with the insight received from others made it quite an educational experience. Although nothing has topped Janet Jackson’s performance in terms of controversy, this was a performance that may be discussed for quite a while.

There was an interesting quote that really resonated with me about Sunday’s performance. This quote was directed towards music educators, who may not know how to discuss the performance with their students. In a nutshell, it said that as educators are quick to criticize what they think is non-musical, kids are losing interest in music education programs, as there’s an obvious disconnect.

As much as I could’ve had a “Get off my lawn!” reaction to the show Sunday, I appreciate the responses received to my inquiries about what Kendrick Lamar was trying to convey. Will I become a fan of his music? Probably not, but that’s because I’m not a fan of that style of music. Will I look up his lyrics to understand more about Kendrick Lamar and his message?

You betcha.

“The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”

Hunter S. Thompson

If I were to never sing or play another note, I could totally live with that. This isn’t to say that I’m not going to be doing music anymore….I’m more focused on writing for the immediate future. Although Hunter Thompson’s quote is very extreme, there is some validity to what he says about the music business, and that’s the part of the industry that I don’t want to be a part of anymore.

As I write this blog post, I’m beginning the process of decluttering. I’m overwhelmed by all of the music stuff I have, from musical instruments to books, CD’s and DVD’s….they’ve all served me well over the years, but now it’s time to let some of them go. I’m hoping to eventually donate as much as I can to the school districts in California impacted by the wildfires. Perhaps some students will enjoy my instruments and albums the way I used to enjoy them. At least with writing, I can do it anywhere at any time, and I have just as much enjoyment as I had playing and singing.

Writing is both challenging and therapeutic. It’s always been easy to “hide” when playing music, as it is a distraction for a few hours from other issues that may be bothering me. Writing is more about facing those issues head on and working through them.

I need to write this next paragraph as a confession – I no longer sing with the Uptown Vocal Jazz Quartet, but I could’ve (and should have) handled the situation differently regarding my departure. Truth be told, I hit the wall – I wasn’t enjoying playing gigs, and I just needed a hard stop to reevaluate what I wanted to do (or not do) musically. To Ginny, Holly and Robert, I hope you can accept my sincerest apology. I’ll do better going forward.

The thing most enjoyable about writing is that I don’t feel any pressures or expectations from others. I write whenever I feel like writing, and I write whatever I’m feeling – although there’s vulnerability involved, there’s also a feeling of satisfaction of being able to convey my thoughts in a creative way.

Things may change, where music becomes the priority again, but if that doesn’t happen, that’s OK….I’m enjoying singing with my church choir, and doing the occasional gigs with my friend Ryan. I’ll just take things one day at a time, and continue to find ways to express my creativity.

Write on!

It amazes me how sometimes I can go weeks without having anything to write about, and then BAM! Thoughts and ideas just start flowing through my brain.

As I write this, I’m on vacation in St. Lucia….getting away from everyday life brings clarity, and with that clarity I find it much easier to put “pen to paper” and convey my thoughts.

Currently, I’m reading Craig Melvin’s (co-host of The Today Show) book “Pops”, which really goes in depth in regard to his relationship with his dad. I can relate to a number of his experiences, as I had a very strained relationship with my dad.

As the years have passed (almost 20 years since my dad died), my heart has softened, and I’ve forgiven my dad. Craig still has his dad, and their relationship has only gotten stronger….I wish that my dad had hung around a little longer so we could’ve hopefully moved in that direction.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how my friendships have evolved over the years….I have some friends who are like brothers and sisters to me. I also have friends that I used to be close with, but as we’ve gotten older we’ve changed and evolved, so we’re not as close anymore. I carry no resentment and I have no hard feelings – for where we are in our lives now, things are different, and I choose not to live in that past anymore.

In Craig Melvin’s book, he shares some profound wisdom which was passed along to him in his younger years. One tidbit that really resonates with me is this piece of advice: “We’re all ‘too something’ to somebody – whether that be too outgoing, too shy, too stubborn, too rebellious….the list goes on and on.

The takeaway is this – embrace who we are and keep on being who we are. Trust that with age comes wisdom and maturity. (I’d almost kill to have the opportunity to go back to tell this to my 22-year old self!)

These are my thoughts today. It feels good to have this outlet to use my creativity. Where music used to be my driving force, I’m enjoying writing more than anything else right now. In no way whatsoever do I consider myself a “writer” – it just soothes my soul to sit down and express myself with words instead of notes.

Stay tuned. ☺️

We spend most of our lives having to prove our value to others, whether it be in sports or academics during our adolescence, or through interviews and auditions as we get older.

The proverbial question exists: “Who are you, and what have you done to make you the ideal candidate?”

As someone who has not won a lot of awards and not had a lot of unnecessary smoke blown up my ass about my abilities, I’m now at a crossroads….at this point in my life, does it matter to have to prove myself worthy to anyone?

The answer is no, it doesn’t…don’t get me wrong – I take pride in doing my job well, and even though I only do gigs for fun, I still try to do my best for my own satisfaction. I’m done having to prove myself to other musicians, and have have absolutely no desire to be an ass-kisser in Corporate America – the thought of that makes me want to puke.

As we’re entering 2025, and I’ll be enjoying my 56th trip around the sun this year, I’m approaching this year with a different attitude….I’m going to truly embrace all my personality quirks, and try to enjoy each day, while the rat race continues around me. No stressing over if I’m good enough for a job or a gig. I’m just gonna have fun and enjoy the ride.

For those who know me, you know that I’m not a fan of the status quo, and that when I put my mind to something, it’s full speed ahead. This is going to be an interesting year ahead, and I look forward to new an exciting challenges, which will be approached very differently than in years past.

And the best part? I’ve got nothing to prove. 😎

1. The incredible weather in Key Biscayne, FL from where I’m writing this blog post.
2. That Class A RV’s are much more cost-effective to rent than purchase.
3. The VW Tiguan and the Buick Enclave – as I’m not getting an RV, I find these two cars to be very intriguing.
4. That Daniel Jones is now a Minnesota Viking.
5. That I can watch the New York Giants without being emotionally attached anymore.
6. Fever Tree Premium Ginger Ale.…it cures what ails you!
7. That I only have 12 more working days until Christmas.
8. A wonderful gathering of friends at the high school reunions I’ve recently attended.
9. The incredibly underrated music of Roger Voudoris…rest in peace.
10. Renewed optimism.

It’s the only thing we can do now, and we’d be moving forward regardless of who won the election last night.

Today I’m an AMERICAN, and I put my hope and faith in things getting better, as we focus on commonalities instead of the continued focus on what divides us.

It’s one thing to say “Make America Great Again”, and it’s another thing to DO IT…..for ALL Americans.

We can’t worry about the things we cannot control. We had the power to vote, and the majority has spoken. All I can do know is hold those in power ACCOUNTABLE for the changes that will take place over the next few years.

It would be very easy to rant and rave in this post. In all honesty, I’m tired of feeling angry and scared. I’d much rather be the change I want to see instead of complaining about the change.

We will get through this – many Americans are hoping for economic improvements, and we may see these come to fruition. It’s the social impact of this election that strikes the most fear, and hopefully we will not see the destruction that many people fear could happen.

To my friends and family – now is the time to lean in to each other, not to fracture.

Hopefully we can all be the change.

Time to look forward.

1. That the election will be over in three days, and we won’t have to endure all of the commercials anymore.
2. 80° in late October? Yes, please!
3. Only Murders in the Building….I’m hooked.
4. Frosted sticky buns from the Best Buns bakery in Shirlington on an autumn Saturday morning.
5. Quality time with my grandson Milo….its truly a blessing.
6. Reconnection with friends from high school at my brother’s high school reunion…..there may be a “Partners in Crime” gig in the future that could be off the charts.
7. The wonderful folks at Massage Heights in Kingston NY. As our local spa in Alexandria is closing, the Kingston spa is honoring my credits when I go up there.
8. The extra hour of sleep I’ll get tonight, even though it’ll start being dark at 5:30 tomorrow afternoon/evening.
9. The incredibly underrated music of Bob Mintzer.
10. FAMILY – mine isn’t just blood relatives.

This was a fun weekend.

On Friday, I drove up to where I grew up for a relaxing couple of days, where I had the opportunity to reconnect with some people who I have not seen in 40 years. It was the 40th reunion for the Onteora Central School Class of 1984…..this was my brother’s class, but I was invited to crash, as I crashed their 25th reunion as well.

It was great to see so many familiar faces, as even though I was a freshman when this class was graduating, I have more of a connection to this class than I do to my own. There were a lot of musicians in the Class of ‘84 that I looked up to, and it was great to have the chance to reminisce.

Friday night was an informal gathering in Woodstock, and on Saturday night they had the reunion dinner. In between, I got an AMAZING massage and facial on Saturday morning, I caught up with one of my classmates in Kingston in the morning, and another classmate in Saugerties in the afternoon. I even made time to go to the ham dinner at my brother’s church before the reunion dinner!

The weather was FANTASTIC! It had to have been the peak weekend for the fall foliage, as the colors on the trees were tremendous. I drove up through the Pocono Mountains on Friday, and between those mountains and the Catskill Mountains, I’ve never seen the area look so vibrant with fall colors!

The thing that I truly enjoyed was how everyone was so incredibly genuine at the reunion….it wasn’t about comparing careers or successes – it was about people asking how others were doing, and being very engaged with each other. There were no cliques dominating the room, which only confirms that with age comes maturity.

I’m hoping to get back up that way during the holidays, and I hope to catch up with other school friends when I do. This was an incredible weekend of laughter, great conversation, and reconnection. For this, I’m truly thankful.

To the 1984 OCS alumni who so graciously welcomed me to be a part of their celebration, you all are PURE CLASS.

I got to cross an item off my bucket list this weekend, as I got to see Gladys Knight in concert.

I’ve been a Gladys Knight fan my whole life…she has a soulful and unmistakable voice, and she sounded just as good as ever. Her band was top notch, and her backup singers were dynamite.

This only reaffirmed my love of the Pips. Even though Gladys performs as a solo act now, I found myself not just singing along with the background harmonies, but when she kicked into “Midnight Train to Georgia”, I was on my feet doing my best imitation of the Pips’ choreography!

It’s amazing that I’ve been fortunate enough to see all of my favorite performers. Between seeing Dionne Warwick and Gladys Knight this summer, it was nice to revisit the music of my childhood performed by two legendary artists.

If Gladys Knight ever decides to have Pips again, I’m totally trying out…..their choreography and harmonies were always on point. I can watch the Richard Pryor skit of just the Pips all day long…..that was genius.

Thank you Gladys, for fulfilling one of my greatest dreams of hearing you perform live. You truly are a living legend, and your music will be celebrated and cherished for many years to come.

And I’m sure I’ll “hear it through the grapevine” if Pips are ever needed.

1. Yacht Rock Deep Cuts on Sirius/XM Radio – where have you been my whole life?
2. That today is the 23rd Anniversary of the entire country coming together as one. We did it once….we’ll do it again.
3. For that slight tease of Autumn breeze I feel when walking Otto at night.
4. For whoever does the voiceovers for the Yacht Rock stations. They need to make a movie about your life story.
5. For the perfect glass of chocolate milk.
6. For that moment when you slip on the perfect pair of flip-flops that hug your feet.
7. For that nagging voice in my head, challenging me to be grammatically on point while writing this post. 😂
8. For being able to start wearing all of the Nike sweatshirts I bought all summer long.
9. For Jay Graydon and David Foster….Airplay was badass!
10. For unbelievable and incredible joy!