Cows have four stomachs…they chew on their cud four times more than needed….as someone who has always held on to negative experiences for far too long, I feel a kindred spirit connection to our bovine friends. This is why I consider myself to be “The Cow Whisperer.”
It’s challenging to be so open with feelings and experiences….being open about them is not from a place of narcissism – it’s always been easy to hide behind the microphone, the mouthpiece or the guitar. 44 years later, after years of playing live music, it’s become the definition of insanity, doing the same thing expecting a different result. It’s not that the gigs aren’t fun….it’s the grind from feeling a sense of being on auto pilot. That’s where I feel like the cow with the cud – I’ve been holding on to gigs for a sense of happiness for way too long.
This year (especially the last couple of months) has been about new experiences away from music….learning to play golf…..indoor sky diving….learning to ride a motorcycle (or a moped…haven’t decided yet)…the hardest part is not defining myself as a musician – it’s always been what I’ve done, and what I’ve used to define who I am, as I could hide behind it. It’s time to be Lane, who also happens to play music, but is much more open to new people, new friends, and a LOT of new experiences!
This year is my 35th high school reunion…in year’s past, I felt like I needed to go to these reunions. To my fellow Onteora Class of 1987 classmates, I sincerely hope that you have a fantastic reunion…please understand that the reunion is an emotional trigger that I don’t need in my life anymore. We’re not who we were 35 years ago, and I’m not going backwards or holding on to that unnecessary baggage any longer. Although time can be a great equalizer , I’m now aabout moving forward.
The journey is different and brighter, and it includes a lot of self discovery…and I’m gonna ‘milk it’ FORE all its worth.
Lane's Back Nine - my online diary as a 50-year old 